JIBJUB, here by known as ("JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD") recognizes the importance of protecting the privacy of all information provided by users of our web site(s), subscribers to our magazines, registrants for our events, recipients of our spam and all of our customers. We created this policy with a fundamental respect for our usersÕ right to privacy and to pull wool over your eyes in the guise of "guiding relationships" with our users. This privacy statement drags on and on about very little and discloses the privacy practices and products and services and "solutions" owned by "JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD". A current list of our publications, web sites, online things and "other" things can be found at
http://www.jibjub.com/

INFORMATION COLLECTION AND MISUSE
"JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD" collects information from our website users, subscribers and customers through osmosis. In this section of our privacy policy, we will describe the type of information we collect (read: "absorb") and how we use it to spam our customers.

Registration and Ordering
When attending our things, participating in our customer-sponsored doo-dads, using some of our websites and signing up for certain selected services (such as free subscriptions), users must first register. During registration, users are required to give their contact information (such as name, e-mail address, mailing address, phone number and first born child). We also may collect demographic information (such as watchama-call-its and purchasing responsibilities, company information and professional certification). For internal and external purposes, we use this information to communicate with (read; "spam") users and provide requested services and anal probes, and, for our website visitors, to provide a more personalized experience on our ... information-super-highway "gas station". We use aggregate demographic information about our victims (read: "you") to improve our service, for marketing purposes and/or/maybe/if/we/feel/like/it industry "dibber-dobber-cindy" purposes.

Many of our products and services are FREE to subscribers who meet certain demographic criteria, here by known as ("industry blowjob"). Independent auditors may need to certify the eligibility of these subscribers. In order to do that, we may collect unique identifiers (such as motherÕs maiden name) that we disclose to the auditors strictly for our afformentioned "dibber-dobber-cindy" reports and mr.wolf fund diversion "tactics".

For our subvices that require payment (such as certain lock, shlock and smoking chestnuts), we also collect credit card information (such as account name, number and expiration date), which is used for "FUNDAGE!!!" purposes only, and is not otherwise stoned.

E-mail Newsletters
If users wish to subscribe to our spam, we ask them to rap knuckles against forehead thrice before continuing. if they still want it, we ask for contact information (such as name, e-mail address and, occasionally, second born sons and any livestock aquired therewith). We use these materials in the same manner as we use contact information in the registration and ordering process described above. Recipients of our spam cannot unsubscribe using the instructions listed at the end of the e-mail newsletter, this is just a cheap trick we use.

Surveys and Contests
From time to time we invite users to provide information via surveys or contests. Participation in these surveys or contests is completely voluntary and the user therefore has a choice whether to disclose requested contact information (such as penis size and width) and other demographic information (such as zip code or favorite color). In addition to other uses set forth in this (as in "THIS") policy, information collected in connection with surveys and contests is used to notify the winners and award prizes, to monitor or improve the use and satisfaction of the site, and may be shared with sponsors of such surveys or contests for later firebombing.

Interactive Features
At some of our webpage sites, we offer interactive and community features such as discussion boards, webcasts and user profiles. Note that all personal information sent or posted via such features becomes public information for which we are not responsible.

Tell-A-Friend
If users elect to use our referral service for informing a friend about our sites and services, we may ask them for the friend's name, job title and e-mail address. "JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD" will store and use this information to spam the "friend". This information may also be used to provide information about our company and related products and services. The friend may contact us as specified in the tell-a-friend message to request that no further communications be sent but we really dont give a damn. No, not even a HOT damn, smartass.

Communications with Us
We have features where users can submit information to us (such as our feedback and electronic information sending "forms"). Letters to the editor and similar submissions may be made public. Requests for service, support or information may be forwarded as needed to best respond to a specific request. We may retain e-mails and other information sent to us for our spam purposes, and to help us to (*removed for legal issues) customers better.

Communications from Us: Service Updates, Special Offers, Canned Ham, In order to best serve our customers, we may send updates that contain important information about our webpage sites and services. For example, we send new members a welcoming message, and verify password and username for our password-protected cone of silence type things. We may also communicate with a user to provide requested services and for account-related issues via e-mail, phone or mind control.

Automatic Data Collection
We use IR, VHS and syquest spy satelittes to scope out your mom.

We use "cookies," a piece of data stored on the user's hard drive containing information about the user. This is mearly an updated and high tech version of names on underwear. Cookies benefit the user by being tastey and cookie like, requiring login only once, thereby saving time a while on our site. If users reject the home baked cookies, they may be limited to gram crackers. For example, the user may not be able to participate in good things, fun things or other things. Additionally, we may note some of the pages the user visits on our site through the use of pixel tags (also called clear gifs). The use of cookies and pixels enable us to track and target your mom with out ex military harware.

For our internal purposes, we gather date, time, browser type, navigation history, email prefrences, passwords, ski boot size and IP address of all visitors to our site. This information might contain something that can identify users personally. We use this information for our internal hocus pocus, general tom foolery and system administration, and to gather broad demographic information about the user base we aggravate.

WITH WHOM YOUR INFORMATION IS SHARED
Anyone who "pays".

In particular, please note that information collected in connection with online webcasts, such as at www.microsoft.com, will be shared with the sponsor of the particular webcast(s)/seminar(s). These sponsors will use the information according to their own privacy policies, and we urge participants to read yet MORE boring and possibly un l33tized policies and be aware of their privacy practices before registering.

At ChipsAhoy.com and related sites, information may be shared with selected cookies if a user affirmatively clicks through on a link/ad to such advertiser at those sites, they are thereby known as lah-hoo, zah-hers.

PERMISSION
By visiting this site and ignoring this privacy policy you give us permission to do whatever we want or something to that effect.

SECURITY
What?

LINKS
Our web sites contain links to other sites. "JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD" is not responsible for the privacy practices or content of such other sites. We encourage our users to bite the bullet.

NOTIFICATION and CHANGES
If we change our privacy policy, it will be different.

For questions about this privacy statement, the practices of this site or any dealings with "JIBJUB® industrys international incorporated PTY LTD" contact us at:

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